Behold, beyond the grave.
I die once more.
HiBye
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Ayeeza replies selectively
Location
Cebu City, Philippines [ show map ]
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I'm here to
I'm here to meet guys 18 to 97 years old for dating, friendship and serious relationship.
About me
HI
Intro......
A-yee-za is the name and yours is the surname.
I am a dry texter. I reply if you make me. If you will not bother to send me a message, I do not care. I do not get jealous, I lose interest. I am here with my soul where I would learn what I needed to, heal what I need to release and realize what I needed further to see and become what I needed to be. I am not waiting for something to begin nor to end. A catastrophic decision to love someone and be another tragic story for another time. I cannot be.
I am dizzy with ennui and suffocated by a languorous air. I was so soft . It made me hard as rock. I saw signs that I thought it was there. I showered with sunrises, met all I have and left me empty. Sometimes, the grounds are not upright. I can sense happiness but not what I wanted or maybe I do not feel that it is genuine and pure as mine. Genuine and pure intentions and continuous presence will build a connection that the world is apart from being revolving only for two souls but with such gorgeous creations, beauty of mountains and seas. There are fires burn to refine us and create something pulchritudinous. Make a stand for own up to, fight demons, start to believe, never give in and gauge self-worth once more. (I never had a romantic relationship.) The underneath scars and an inner thunderstorm of misplaced emotions, even to myself they began to fester and infect my entire life. I got scars. It comes from the pain and sorrow. Bruises with different stories that remind me how brave and vulnerable I was. It made me happy. It made me find more courage and trust again, adding more scars. I learned to fight in silence, battle with toxic thoughts and manage self-doubt. These are the bruises as evidence from crazy adventures and bold attempts. I realized that life has a lot to offer and is worth living.
I am too shallow, do not swim deeper. I can be the sun in your dark gray sky when you tried to make a rainy day to compliment your dreary clouds. I will love you in all the best way that my heart is telling me to. I love so true and hurt so deeply. I can choose to be more or accept to be nothing. I am not that beautiful as others can be. I am not a commodity to be traded amongst women out there with a magnifying glass trying to find which is a lie.I am consistently messy with a little bit craziness. I can cry and laugh at once. I chose ME to be happy , loving and finding my depth essence and fill a distinct jar that I can graciously give without hesitation to others.
I am into that individual who does not fear to open up, not for a game, and send mixed signals for self defense. I do not have much left in the tank for people crossing my life for the wrong reasons or just passing by. Dare me to apologize for being a big ball of mush. There are no shortcuts , do not happen with just a snap of fingers. I remember and keep in mind that loneliness uncured by sporadic attention, created by it. When someone comes in and out, it will leave me being hurt and confused. Feel the days in a snap before realizing excruciating slow as I waited for the text or call that will never even be made. If things don't feel right in the beginning, chances never will. I won't let someone leave my glass empty while giving myself in full. I am more than enough. I am loved. I want to love you, but I can also change my mind. I am poor I cannot afford you, only love is what I can offer.
Can I be the reason of that induces arrhythmic contraction of your heart? Or You are the one that will walk away with whole pieces and leave me broken in your wake?
No matter what I planned, everything can change overnight. Do things at your own peace. Continue to breathe and Live. It costs peace of mind and happiness.
About you
Would you push someone you love and be left as an incomplete quest? It would be LUCK, enough for the door lead to crack open
Many moons have come and gone, have you held too long thinking you are in a bad dream?
If you still love that someone the same way weeks, months, years or decade ago. Please don’t hit me and make your own grave. I cannot stand in one corner with your sparkly eyes looking at someone else which is not me. Aspires to be a man , learn how to love in a way and put what he learns into action.A keeper not a pencil-type of a thing.
If this one thing you avoid with all you have, never fails to come your way, fight me. When your insecurities and self doubts weigh you down and feel lost and confused, I will love you.
If you see yourself in darkness, cannot see broken tracks and cannot determine mistakes, move and get up. You need sun that won’t deprived you of its warmth. Acquits imperfectly but moves gently. A not perfect entity but treats me exactly how I deserve to be.
If you see lilies and roses not only to me, it will die and drawn by storm, prick, hurt and burnt. You will be lost in the vast sea and the shore is nowhere to be seen. You took my breath away-admiring you as someone else took yours.
If you’ve been married as XYZ, I am out. One veil removes for a special smooch help-yourself to a sickening kind of degree.
If you love staying in a quicksand where your heart is frozen in stone, unable to see someone else, I’d love you to go on the next page. It will make myself small to fit in your frame. It will not work on half-half . Wanting someone does not care about you is a tragedy. It is so blurred for the two of us.
If there are things you want to settle outside of us, you can go. Fly as high and as far as you can. I opt to let you fly without my chains binding you. Would you let to get swept up in the wrong things and lose sight of what really matters?
Would you bother to put yourself in facade and put on metaphorical mask and embraces inner thespian?
Would you come out and spill what you are looking for? I appreciate the straightforwardness. Do you acknowledge phony grand gestures or disingenuous small talk? I want you to be blunt but not forceful. It can be a little dense when it comes to romance. If you want a date, then say date not hang out to know what you are getting into..
Why and how would you say I LOVE YOU? Do you have that feelings bound for oblivion seems always drifting into infinite space, no chance to bounce back.? The calm to my storm my lighthouse when finding my way home. .
Are you that sensitive and easy to hurt your ego? If ever I am poking fun at you or being sarcastic towards you, it means I like you. If I did not like you, I will avoid and will not give a second talking to you.
If you would initiate a conversation and stop minutes later, please send it to others. Exchange as several obligatory small talk messages won’t go anywhere. No energy to deal with confusion
When it starts showing hidden blades, pierce through veins that is used to hold and have to let go. We cannot be the saga, an epic story. Possibly , an epic but failed
If ever fate will let us to see each other and feel the ignition, compatibility, stability, spark as they called, the burning fire in our hearts that will tell us, we are for each other. Maybe we can give it a shot , take the risk and gamble on it.
Personal info
5'0" (152cm) and average body type.